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How To Be An Internet Star

When I was a little younger, I wanted to be famous. A celebrity. When everyone knows your name. I'm not sure why, I guess I thought it would be fun. The only way I could think to be world famous in New Zealand was to either sing in a manufactured girl-only pop group, or to be on Shortland Street. But now I know a secret. I could be an internet star instead.

This is how you become an internet star:
1. First you must choose a really good name for yourself and for your site. If you are fortunate enough to actually have a weird name or nickname, then you may skip this step. If you need to choose, just remember that anything remotely angsty or goth will be fine.
2. Next you need to design (and I use this term loosely) a site and glorify yourself a lot. If no one actually likes you, but you make out that people do, maybe someone will fall under the impression that you are actually cool and can do the things you claim to be able to do.
3. You must upload pseudo-art photos of yourself. The more the better!
4. Invest in a high quality web cam. Don't forget that you must always wear makeup when your cam is turned on, and always make sure the last photo uploaded just prior to turning your cam off is a sexy shot of you with your tilted and pouty lips. Horny net geeks like that kind of business.
5. Advertise your site as often as you can. Start off with guestbooks, message boards, and as email signatures, then one day you'll be ready to tag it all across town.

Five simple steps. Anyone can do it!

Now if everyone took my advice, we could all be celebrities with a minimum amount of work. Wouldn't that be great?