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Yes, I've Had Cosmetic Surgery
After all the glossy magazines I've read, after all the websites and all the newspaper articles, I still can't figure out if the media is trying to tell us that cosmetic surgery is good or bad. After all these years, I still don't even know what the general consensus is. There are many different factors based on which people form their opinion. Amongst other things, it depends on the particular type of surgery, where you live, how old you are, what sex you are and your religious beliefs.
The thing is, however, that I've had cosmetic surgery. Sure, I haven't had my boobs done, and I haven't had an eye-lift, but I have had cosmetic surgery.
I was born with a dark purple port-wine stain birthmark on my right cheek. Apparently, this type of birthmark is relatively common, however I could count the number of people I've seen with birthmarks like mine on my left hand (and for some reason they were all men, but I don't know how that works). It isn't very big (what's a big birthmark anyway? It felt big, but it didn't even cover half of my right cheek) and I didn't really get teased about it at school. Except once.
I don't remember how old I was, I don't remember where it happened or who said it to me, but I'm sure The Snorks were still on television so I'm guessing it happened in the late eighties or early nineties. But I do remember that someone called me a "purple people eater". Although I find it funny now, it wasn't too cool back in the day. Eventually, this led to me obsessively wearing heavy-duty makeup and growing my hair long to cover my "hideous deformity".
You know those girls that live in small towns, wear super-taper black jeans, Doc Marten boots, white jersies, have long bleached yellow hair and wear a lot of makeup? Well, I was one of those, minus the super-taper black jeans, chunky-soled knee-high boots, white jersey and long bleached yellow hair (actually, I did bleach my hair once, but it was more of an orange colour and didn't last longer than a couple of weeks). I was obsessive-compulsive about covering my birthmark. I used a house-paint grade of makeup specifically designed for the covering of birthmarks called Dermablend. It was almost hard and came in a small pot that you had to scrap out with a spatula, warm in your hand, and then lay on your face like grout. You then had to set it with a special Dermablend powder, which set it like varnish. The only way to get it off was to scrape, and scrape hard. You can't even imagine how long it took me to get ready in the morning. I hated wearing it. It took me too long to get ready, my face always felt gluggy, and I daren't touch it for sheer fear of getting any of the stuff on my fingers. I don't exactly know why, but I was ashamed of my birthmark.
As most girls know, after puberty and makeup comes boys. I only had a couple of boyfriends who I let see me without makeup, and they would usually say, "Ani, you look cute without makeup.", which would usually be followed by me shaking my head and saying something stupid about the weather. It wasn't until one of my boyfriends said, "Ani, you look cute without makeup.", and then, "You wear too much of it anyway." What was I to say? I mean, I knew I wore too much makeup, but he wasn't supposed to tell me that.
"Oh, okay.", I said.
That was the day I decided it was time to get it removed. My mother and I had been discussing getting my birthmark removed for a few years, but it was always thought to be too expensive, and when I was younger the lasers used could have left scarring. But I was 18, they had developed better lasers and as it turned out, it was free. If you live in New Zealand and meet certain criteria, you are eligible for free laser surgery for disfiguring marks. As soon as we found this out, I was booked in for a consultation and My First Laser Surgery.
I didn't undergo scalpel surgery, and there were no chisels involved, but do not be misled - laser surgery hurts. How I understand this all works, and I could be wrong, but I believe a port-wine stain birthmark is bascially a whole pile of broken capilleries under the skin. The laser unbreaks the capilleries, much like unfraying a nylon belt with a lighter. The skin bruises (quite magnificently, actually) but does not burn, and heals in a few weeks. Until you near the end of your treatment, you can use anthestic cream to numb to area to be lasered, which is nice. However, I was advised not to use the cream at the end of my treatment because it fades the birthmark a little. I tell you, it hurt like a bitch.
Imagine wearing a short-sleeved shirt and having some little shit at school comes up behind you with a rubber band and ping it on your tricep area. Now imagine it on your face. Without anesthetic. Admittedly, my treatments where never longer than about 5-10 minutes, but it still hurt. Now imagine living in a country that has a hole in the ozone above it and falling asleep in the sun for a few hours when the burntime is only 7 minutes and waking up to find you have serious burns on your back. That's what it feels like for a few days afterwards. And it itchs. And it is black. Black like a starry night. The bruising usually fades completely after 2-3 weeks, but can not really be covered with makeup, unless you live in a small town and wear tight black jeans, that is.
I went through 3 years of these treatments. In total, I've had nine treatments, two without anesthetic cream. So, you'd think I'd be used to the stupid things people say.
"Gee, it looks like you had a nasty fall from a mountain bike!" was the most interesting, but I usually just got, "Good lord, what happened to your face?!" I guess most people wouldn't know what laser surgery bruising looks like, so I'd rather people said something than just stared, which is really rude if you didn't know already.
After 3 years of treatment, my birthmark is almost totally gone and although I've had my last one and my doctor said it will most likely never fade completely I am extremely happy with the surgery. I had cosmestic surgery, and I'm proud. Every now and then when I tell someone I had laser surgery on a facial birthmark, they say something like, "You could hardly even see it in the first place, did you know that?" I think that is a silly thing to say, because I could see it, and I thought it was noticeable. If I had a big nose, I'd have rhinoplasty. If I had a totally flat chest, I'd get implants. Not because I want to look like a model from a glossy magazine, but because I want to feel good about myself. Cosmetic surgery isn't always about getting a face lift when you already look 30. It doesn't have to be about having 36DD boobs when you already have a perky 36C chest. Cosmetic surgery is not always about conforming to society's standards. If you can make people feel better about themselves, they'll be more likely to take their clothes off. And that's not all bad, is it?
Note: If you live in Wellington, New Zealand and have a birthmark you want to get removed, please email me and I'll give you the name of my doctor. |