ANI MOLLER: Superior Content, Hot Text

Apartment Love

Moving into your first apartment in the centre of the city is exciting. When you are a yuppie slut, such as myself, and you move into an apartment fit only for a yuppie boy and his yuppie slut, this is even more exciting.

Why one might think this apartment is great:

The high ceilings
The neutral coloured walls and ceiling
The windows that run the length of the front room, otherwise known as the open-plan living room/kitchen
The view from the aforementioned windows, which look out over my favourite alto-cinema, The Rialto, and the best museum in the world, Te Papa
The brand new kitchen, complete with brand new fridge, stove with overhead fan, dishwasher and oversized bench/breakfast bar
The silver ducts that hang from the ceiling, where the occasional sound of trickling water comes from
The buzzer
The indoor garage with remote door opener
The two reasonable sized bedrooms, one which is now an office for the yuppie boy
The two expensive canvas chairs in the lounge, purchased from Artikel by the yuppie boy
The way the apartment makes the yuppies slut's 29" flatscreen television look flashy

Why one might think this apartment is not great:

The loud sound that comes from the car wash across the road on a regular basis
The crazy Asian junkies on the ground floor
The people upstairs who have parties and play loud drum & bass at 6.30am, leading one to believe the apartment may be occupied by DJs
The lack of air-conditioning - however, it is almost winter and a fan stands proudly in the living room
"I have no grass to play on and no animals to try and catch!" Goblin the cat, 2001

Fuck the cat, we have a buzzer.