Farewelling Friends
9 November 2007Sorry Ani lovers, but it’s Tui again. Ani is still ‘busy’ but keeps asking me to give you all some blog love so being the obliging gal that I am (and being mind numbingly bored at work) I decided I’d keep her happy and write another blog post.
Lately I’ve noticed a theme becoming prevalent in many peoples lives, (most importantly in Ani’s of course) which is that they seem to be experiencing a mass exodus of friends to exciting offshore locations. I just did a quick tally up and there have been a dozen friends of mine that have left in the last year or so – that’s one a month! And there is approximately that many again taking off in the next 12 months (including myself). This would be all very well if it was possible to regenerate one friend a month to substitute the abandoners, sadly this does not appear to be the case.
Sure it’s all fun and games for the person who is taking off but it’s just a bit shit for the people being left behind. You have to pretend to be all excited about their travels and happy for them that they are going to be beginning this new journey, when secretly you’re actually thinking how jealous you are and how crap it’ll be having to scratch yet another person off your already depleted list of lunch/drinking/hanging out buddies.
Perhaps something to soothe those of you whose closest friends have left/are leaving is to form a support group on the ever popular Facebook. Those of us feeling the effects of friend displacement could console in one another about all the things that seem to be a common occurrence of late like counting up who has had the most friends leave, which friend has had the best leaving party, who had the most ungodly airport farewell time, who has the most interesting travel blog etc etc.
The other option could be to jump on the travel bandwagon but this is obviously not possible for everyone. So those that are venturing off to explore the seven seas, spare a thought for those who have to stay behind by making sure you throw an awesome leaving party, making your departing flight at a decent hour and keeping your travel blog updated regularly so they can at least try and live vicariously through you.
And now since this is Ani’s blog I’ll zoom in on how this phenonmen has effected her:
“My two best coffee/dinner buddies, Louis and Simon, left in the past two months, my awesome flat is breaking up with Kate leaving in December, my awesome intern Tui is also leaving in January. This is on top of my best friend in the world, Pip, leaving last December to go to the UK, which she planned when I was living in the UK but didn’t really tell me, while I had planned to come back to New Zealand. That was some good planning on both of our behalves. Now I will have to:
- find someone(s) to replace my coffee buddies when I’m stressed at work (I’ve started drinking tea at my desk – lame!). It was very handy when my two coffee buddies worked two buildings down the road. 3:30pm stressbuster for the win!
- go out to a restaurant when I want food on the level of Louis’ masterpiecery
- find a new flatmate to replace Kate, which is going to be hard. Not only is she a great cook, who cooks for me, but she pays her bills, comes to gigs with me, and is tidy, and I haven’t caught her checking her poo.
- Find new friends. Where do they come from?! Grow them? Clone them? Rent some?
But I guess this isn’t all doom and gloom, because I’d rather have met all these people and become good friends with them than not at all. All of those people have made my life awesome this year, well, except Pip because she sucks and hasn’t been here all year. But she did send me a keyring with a bear wearing a snorkelling mask that said “muff diver” on it. She’s a classy broad.”
Now, haven’t we all missed Ani’s writing!
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Comments
Who is Ani Moller?
All of this unpleasantness can be avoided by simply not having any friends. Sure, it’s sounds like a total downer to be a “Johnny-No-Mates”, but it’s actually very liberating.
No one asking to borrow things, only to return them later scratched to shit or smeared in KFC grease.
No one “popping over” for a chat, despite the fact that you find them vein-throbbingly annoying.
No one talking all the way through your favourite movie. “Who’s that guy?” “What’s she doing?” “Why is the dwarf molesting the radioactive hedgehog with a croquet mallet?”
No one puking on your bean bag, begging for rides in your car or claming they’re homeless and asking to move in.
Oh, and you don’t have to buy anyone birthday, Xmas, insert-holiday-of-your-choice-here presents. Ever. So you save a crap-load of money and can buy that Nikon you’ve been lusting after.