My Flatmates Rule!
23 July 2007Flatting is difficult. Let’s be honest – most people are absolutely awful to live with, and if your flatmates are your friends beforehand they probably won’t be afterwards. If they are strangers, they will probably turn out to be axe-murderers, or at the very least leave pubic hair everywhere. It’s hard to find people to live with who will be your friends during and afterwards, and who live in the same way that you do so you don’t get pissy with each other over things like leaving the toilet seat up or leaving breadcrumbs on the bench or other small things that will make you so angry you burst a blood vessel on your temple.
Over the past year I have been back in the flatting situation I have lived with some interesting characters.
The Drunk Scot
Pros: good cook
Cons: cooked for me once, drunk wine in his room every night to dull the pain of his wife being in Wales, extraordinarily boring to the point that I couldn’t listen to Scottish accents anymore
The Druggie
Pros: did the garden once, bought wood for the fire
Cons: had a stinky room, ripped me off my bond, was a druggie
The Nice Scot
Pros: super nice, hilarious boyfriend
Cons: not anal about cleaning like me, liked sausages
The English Gent
Pros: nice, great cook, had a piano
Cons: wished was my chef, too coupley with his girlfriend, sofas were really uncomfortable, gave his friends the house key
The Horder
Pros: unsure
Cons: stingy, filled the flat with her crap, strange, walked in on her looking at her poo once
So after a year of hating my flat and living with people I either liked and didn’t want to live with, or didn’t like and didn’t want to live with, I am now completely and utterly blessed to be living with the two best flatmates this side of Natalie Gregory (where are you Nat, I miss you!): Kate and Kelly.
We cook meals together. We watch television together. We seem to understand when the others want to have a conversation and when they can’t be bothered. We are setting up an account for all of our groceries and will spend the leftover money on going out together. We don’t have a roster yet the house is still tidy. We all respect each other’s peace and quiet. The only thing now is that Kate and I need to convince Kelly to come to drum and bass gigs with us. We think she is scared.
Kate and Kelly – you guys are awesome! I love you! I just hope you realise that if I move to Auckland you are coming with me. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
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Comments
hmm… i wonder what pros/cons the flatties u describe above would list about yourself? insufferably smug sometimes your blog ani.. i assume they know how to use google and would maybe find this shit written about them?
not so cool this time.. very cool mosta the time tho ;)
Yes, I’m sure they’d be absolutely shocked to read such objective observations like “ripped off my bond” and “gave their friends the house key”. I’m a terrible person!
The Smug Blogger
Pros: pays bills, runs the flat, awesome cook when can be bothered
Cons: will write about you on the internet without your name and without mentioning the dramas that made your home-life hell, farts
The Redneck
Pros: Has guns for hunting and brings home meat, good to get drunk with.
Cons: Has guns in the house, leave aforementioned carcass on kitchen table with blood dripping on the floor. Can be unreasonable.
the “on to it” dealer
Pros: Always pays bills, has good hookup’s, and likes to party.
Cons: Too wasted to notice loud sex, dodgy clients.
the skater dealer
Pros: Worked night shift so hardly saw him. His brother would send his mates around to hook up, and always mistook me for him greeting me with “Hey Dallas” when I answered the door which sounds like a Con: but is actually a Pro: because you get to screw with them :D
Cons: The word “rent” was foreign to him.
The D&B Fiend
Pros: nice, funny, always lights the fire & makes tea
Cons: Keeps me awake playing his D&B, goes into deep depression every time his GF from Wellington goes home
;)
My own personal nemesis…
The Happy Homemaker
Pros: Responsible. Good with money. Great at finding and organising new flats when everyone else is too busy/can’t be arsed.
Cons: Anal. Bossy. Obsessed with flat ambience, harmonious relations and everyone doing everything together. (You’re not my friends. You’re just people I live with. So no, I don’t want to sit in the lounge for four hours with your dreary boyfriend, discussing the latest episode of Prison Break. Nor does the whole flat need to accompany you to the supermarket because you’ve run out of fucking vegemite.)
I’ve found you can flat with people and pretty much ignore them for the most part. Be civil obviously, and do your best not to antagonise them, but I hate it when whoever holds the lease feels compelled to inflict their sad ‘Little House On The Prairie’ fantasies on everyone else. I hate rosters. I hate communal cooking. And I especially hate ‘flat outings’. Provided I pay the rent on time and don’t set fire to anything, you can leave me the hell alone.
But that’s just me, and I’m a bit odd like that.
I wish you would update more often, you are quite a funny C when you put your mind to it.
PS How dare you get a life!
PPS I miss you.