You Want To Put A Penis In My Ear?!

18 August 2006

For quite some time now, it’s been a bit of a running joke with my friends and I about how I’m deaf. It’s not that I can’t actually hear, it tended to be more that I would mishear things a lot, and usually replace random words with slang, swear words, and genitals. This is obviously due to my Tourette’s and my gutter mind, but now I know why I do it.

I went to the doctor’s today to get tests done to find out why I’m still sick and abysmally tired all the time. I have been meaning to get my hearing checked for some time now but I always forget to ask. This time I remembered, and I had to put some thing on my ear that beeped sounds and I had to tell the doctor when I heard them. It turns out that I can’t hear low-pitch sounds in both ears, and now have to wait for a letter from the hospital to have my ears tested more thoroughly.

This explains why I have trouble hearing people with deep voices, am sensitive to loud bass and music, and hear ambient noise easier than conversations in places like restaurants and bars. This probably also explains why I always mishear people, and end up guessing what they are saying based on what I can see their mouth doing. I guess I always end up with weird, rude things because I have a dirty mind and dirty words are my favourite words.

So officially, I am a gimp as well as a nana. Hopefully my hearing will hold out long enough to not have to wear ugly hearing aids, and hopefully I won’t have to have any ear operations like my father (he’s had about three to sort out some sort of deviated ear canal issues which meant ear wax was pooling by his ear drum and rotting tissue away, yum, which left one of his ear holes gaping enough to see almost into his brain).

The best part of this is that at least I now have confirmation of what I knew all along, and no longer can my friends hassle me for hearing dirty things when I don’t actually hear dirty things because it’s just my handicap. That, and my filthy, disgusting mind.



Comments


It’s a well-known fact that as people age their ability to hear certain sounds diminishes. Take a look at this article:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/content/articles/2006/04/04/mosquito_sound_wave_feature.shtml

I can’t hear the sound linked at the end of it. Can you?

Posted by di 705 days ago  #

ouch. hurty mc hurtsville.

Posted by jake 705 days ago  #

My old granny ears can’t hear that!

Posted by animoller 705 days ago  #

Yes.

Posted by zas 689 days ago  #

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